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Drinking with Men
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Rosie Schaap has always loved bars: the wood and brass and jukeboxes, the knowing bartenders, and especially the sometimes surprising but always comforting company of regulars. Starting with her misspent youth in the bar car of a regional railroad, where at age 15 she told commuters' fortunes in exchange for beer, and continuing today as she slings cocktails at a neighborhood joint in Brooklyn, Schaap has learned her way around both sides of a bar and come to realize how powerful the fellowship among bar patrons can be.
In Drinking with Men, Schaap shares her unending quest for the perfect local haunt that takes her from a dive outside L.A. to a Dublin pub full of poets, and from small-town New England taverns to a character-filled bar in Tribeca. Drinking alongside artists and expats, ironworkers and soccer fanatics, she finds that these places offer a safe haven, a respite, and a place to feel most like herself.
In rich, colorful prose, Schaap brings to life these seedy, warm, and wonderful rooms. Drinking with Men is a love letter to the bars, pubs, and taverns that have been Schaap's refuge, and a celebration of the uniquely civilizing source of community that is bar culture at its best.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 7 hours and 12 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Audible.com Release Date: January 24, 2013
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00AWCHDII
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I loved this book. At first glance, it’s just a warm book about Rosie drinking at bars with men, and more than worthwhile on that level alone. But there’s way more here. On a deeper level, this is the story of any of us - - with our hopes and dreams and fears and sadness - our need to be with others: who and how. All this filtered through the prism of the life she chose.Drinking in bars with men answered many questions and issues for Rosie. She found her path - her happiness — her peace of mind and camaraderie — AND somehow, through her wonderful talent of storytelling, where it is her talent even more than the specific stories that compels you to keep turning pages, I found information of great usefulness on my life’s path.For me, much socializing is some at good restaurants. I find certain ones warm, inviting and conducive to conversation - so I get Rosie. She seems like an old friend, someone I’ve known and liked. I think you’ll feel the same way.
There are so may ways most of us can identify with in Rosie's journey - drinking with men is simply a metaphor for how women find their place in the universe. I love that she uses the bar culture as a common equalizer of the sexes. It's not the pick-up bar or the sports bar she frequents, but the neighborhood bar where you have to humble yourself to your core and set your soul vulnerable. Believe me, the book is not this esoteric. Rosie leads us to the place better than group therapy, a place - when stumbled upon - can keep us sane.
I just loved this book. Rosie Schaap can really write, and her memoir constructed around her social (and inner) life in bars and saloons proves it. This was a book club selection for my book club--which meets at a local bar!--and there was a long and interesting discussion following our reading of "Drinking With Men."One question I was interested in hearing everyone answer was, is Rosie Schaap an alcoholic? We all had our own opinions. The answers ranged from "Um...yes, obviously!" to "Not at all, I really don't think so at all!" and everything in between. To a person, though, we all enjoyed her memoir and identified with her strong love of walking into a place, wherever it may be, "where everybody knows your name."Recommendation: Two hearty thumbs up, absolutely recommend.
Thought this would be a good book after hearing about it. Not what I expected. The author does a good job of relating many stories about different bars, and the various characters she meets in them. But all they do is talk, talk, talk. Although the author spends hundreds of hours in the various bars, she seldom ends up inebriated. For all that, she might as well as spent time in a Starbucks. Not my kind of bar stories for sure.
Rosie Schaap has written a very honest, insightful, accurate, readable, and interesting memoir - and she's just in her early forties. Three cheers and five stars, and boy does it make me yearn for the "good old days," when I was young. Ms. Schaap opens with the statement that she has probably spent 13,000 hours in bars. Well, my number is 50,000.See, I used to tend bar, in my 20s, 30s, and 40s; and I can say with certainty that she tells it as it was, and probably still is, but to a lesser degree; as it seems coffee shops and tea houses have replaced the "neighborhood bar" as informal community gathering places; and also people, in general, seem less inclined to talk with each other face-to-face with loosened minds and tongues, with friends, co-workers, and neighbors --preferring to chat or text or blog online on their electronic devices (laptops, tablets, & smartphones) with anonymity (often), leveled out by prescribed pharmaceutical drugs-- with strangers-- in safety without risk of being exposed or caught for who they truly are. Which is, of course, ironic because one of the "rules" Rosie accurately writes about is that it was protocol, in the bar, for conversation to remain "superficial." But the difference is that most real (meaning unscripted and unmeasured without an agenda) communication is non-verbal. Ninety-three percent of communication is tonal and gesture, as well as unseen vibration. It's true. And that is disappearing with the rise of electronic communication, concurrent with the decline in social drinking, and the neighborhood bar. I find that sad.Many reviewers of this book declare that they think Rosie is an alcoholic. She doesn't, as she described it, meet my definition. Yes, on occasion she would drink to excess and make herself sick; but she'd never drive, become delusional, hostile, aggressive, or threatening, or miss work or other obligations. If she's an alcoholic, she's a functional one so ... So what. She's wrote a heck-of-a book, and seems to have found a place where she's happy and comfortable. Cheers.One last mention. Rosie Schaap is the daughter of Dick Schaap, a famous sports reporter and writer, back-in-the-day. He was hard working, tenacious, and very good at what he did, but not hard-drinking as the stereotype would suggest. He was also, as the stereotype does suggest, not much involved with "parenting." He was always working, and Rosie's mother and father divorced when Rosie was a young child. Rosie was sent to a "shrink" regularly. Why she doesn't reveal. So Rosie knows things a lot of kids don't, and one thing she knows is about the Freudian defense mechanism sublimation - the distraction from sexual desire by altruistic behavior, often creative. As a young student, she suspects this being behind the poet Yeats' work; and looks at sublimation introspectively. She "loved" hanging out with older, smart, creative men, drinking in bars with them, without a sexual component - she was "one of the guys."This is a very, very, very good memoir.
I really can't make up my mind on this book. The first few chapters had so much potential. At first each chapter was so different that they seemed like a compilation of short stories about her life. The last few chapters have enough details to make a continuous story, but for some reason there doesn't really seem to be enough details to weave a continuous tale. I guess I'm not sure why I didn't love the book. All I can say is that I read the first few chapters with alarming speed and the last few I found difficult to complete.
I really loved the description of Rosie's book when I first saw it, but I feel that it didn't live up to my expectations. Some points she was trying to make just seemed to fall flat, certain sections dragged on forever, and the ending did not leave me very satisfied. It was a nice idea and I did like many of the stories she had to tell from the bar, but I think maybe I expected too much of it due to its 'differentness'.
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